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The Past Meets the Present
Fair warning, this one is going to be REALLY long. I was perusing my old “journal” notes in my phone from way back when I was with The Dementor… starting around 2020. It’s fucking ironic that the similarities between what I felt and wrote about back then are almost an exact mirror of the shit…
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I’m Better Than That
Honestly? My “family” didn’t have any traditions that I can really recall. I suppose “going to the grandparents’ house for the summer” is one that might qualify?! But, even if it does, there was never a time when I could send The Son there, for many reasons… the first and foremost being that I usually…
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Fuck Your Potential
Why is falling in love with someone’s potential so dangerous? I mean… potential to grow is supposed to be a GOOD thing, right?! Thing is… you can’t MAKE someone believe in their own potential, let alone work towards it. No matter how hard you try. And? We are all only responsible for our own shit,…
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Crestfallen
Now that I’ve had a nap, I feel less tired. Problem is, I am an “Emotional Masochist” and started a romantic movie called “The Idea of You” with Anne Hathaway (love her!) and Nicolas Galitzine (never heard of him before this). Yeeeeah… I stopped halfway through. For some fucked up reason, I watch these movies…
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A New Book
I got myself a new book to read about moving beyond betrayal. Chapter 2 title? Not All Forms of Addiction Are Created Equal. Thing is… since I’ve been through numerous forms of trauma, I already know this fact. This trauma is new to me, unfortunately, and I’m sure that a couple of the previous ones…
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“Well… Life Isn’t Fair”
I really [fucking] hate that sentiment. Like… it elicits a deep, visceral rage inside my guts when I hear it. And I’ve even used the damn phrase. Doesn’t make it any less condescending and dismissive, though. And yeah, life ISN’T fucking fair, but who gives a shit?! Sometimes, whatever thing we’re going through sucks major…
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It Feeds the Soul
Once in a while, I just need to sit and listen to music… it feeds my soul. Most times, I listen to sad songs about broken love because I’m already sad. It helps me, even though it seems counterproductive. And today, as every day, I’m exhausted and just want to throw something out there that…
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Well… Damn 😥
The Boyfriend is doing individual therapy and I think that’s fantastic. He had a session yesterday while I was at my Trauma-Informed Yoga Therapy, sweating to death with the effort of doing movements that seem like a penance compared to what I used to be able to do many moons ago when I was in…
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What IS love?!
Sometimes, I have a really difficult time trying to Brain. I was reviewing my previous post titles to see if I could find some inspiration and I noticed I have at least TWO “I’m tired” style titles. I mean… I am – literally all the time – but sheesh. Writing about how tired I am…
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! ! ! Thailand ! ! !
Ok, so… Thailand isn’t exactly an affordable trip to take for me, plus the physical issues getting in the way, buuuuut… I still want to visit Chiang Mai. I mean, look at it! Pagodas with beautiful gardens… Buddhist Temples… Aaaaand ELEPHANT SANCTUARY!!! 😍🤩🥰 And plenty of other things to see! Anyhoo… this is my dream…
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It’s All About the Balance
The whole of existence is inundated with opposing forces: Light and Dark, Fate and Free Will, Love and Hate, Life and Death, Public and Private, Past and Present, Fast and Slow, Youth and Age, Dreaming and Reality… and so much more. I find that a healthy balance of Yin and Yang, both sides of the…
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Granny Sidhé & Such
I have a few things I participate in to “maintain” what health and well-being can be had, given my state of existence (it isn’t great). Due to trauma (both my lifetime of it and recent events), I am now in 4 different trauma-informed therapies, in addition to regular therapy and couple’s therapy. Weekly, I attend…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 