Yesterday, as The Boyfriend recovered from… stuff… I messaged (he was upstairs) and asked if anything was the matter, pointing out that he seemed distant. He didn’t answer, so I went outside to lay sideways in my hammock and rock myself while I spiraled into the Void of Self-Loathing and Despair. I cried silently, just a few tears running down the sides of my face. I hate that I can decently handle things like this sometimes, and other times it kicks me like a Spartan would toss and deformed infant into The Kaiadas Cave.

The Boyfriend did answer eventually, while I was out there. I told him to take his time (and meant it), even though I really needed a hug. Eventually, I did have to go inside to use the bathroom. Just in the nick of time, too, because it started to rain. I’m not sure how much time passed, but he did finally come down and kiss/hug on me without being asked. Then we did check-in. I explained what happened and he was understanding, apologizing for not realizing he was being distant.

And then? We played Valheim. I had rage quit earlier in the morning when my home base got raided by spicy-land skellies (we call them Tweekers, lol) and their big, sword-wielding brothers. 4 feckin spawners, too. It took a bit, but we did manage to clear them all out. So annoying, but I was grateful for the help.

As for today? Walkies in a light drizzle, rain by the time we were headed back to the house. Short rinse in the shower and I really wanna go back to bed.