Yesterday was a day of rest. Not much was done except lazing around and napping. I worked on the Couples Commitment Contract for the Recovery Program, but I struggled pretty hard with it. In past relationships, setting boundaries was met with drastic consequences, like outright rejection or mental/emotional abuse. I wasn’t allowed any kind of voice growing up, either. Using my voice meant I’d be verbally assaulted and beaten severely with a belt.

So yeah, setting boundaries now, in a relationship that’s been fraught with neglect, rejection, defensiveness, and ultimately Betrayal Trauma? A little on the difficult side. I had to consult with my women’s coach, citing the boundaries I was justifying as untenable. She validated every single one. This gave me enough confidence to expand on them and even ponder the consequences that might fit our situation.

Outside of that, check-in went pretty well. The Boyfriend and I discussed the Coffee Pot incident and, for all intents and purposes, it was resolved. Until he mentioned later via message that he’d spent $30 on Magic cards… 😑 Soooo, all that “justify the cost” hypocrisy, huh? Yup. Cool story, bro.

And the night ended with some chaos, as Granny Sidhé and her son had a heated argument after I’d gone to bed. Stress levels and tension have been high surrounding his lack of a vehicle due to unexpected repairs. *le sigh* I feel bad for both of them, being an outside party that can see the value in both sides of the argument, but… I don’t want to insert myself into their business without being asked… and even then, I don’t have a lot of confidence that my opinions would be worthwhile.

Either way, I’m awake and it’s Day 3, now. Coffee and lazy bed sitting for now.