11.5 – For Last Week’s MM:
There are two fundamental skills in life:
1) Focus on what you can control.
2) Let go of the rest.Ask yourself: on your deathbed, will you regret doing/not doing it?
Then act accordingly
What’s one thing you’re stressing about that you have no control over? What could you change that’s within your control?
What’s one thing you’d regret not doing? What’s stopping you?
That thing you can control? Do something about it this week. And let go of all the other things. Let me know what happens.
On my deathbed, versus what I like to think while I’m alive now (which is that I “learn” from my mistakes and missed opportunities): Yep. I would most definitely regret quite a lot of things. And then the guilt and/or shame hits like a ton of bricks – right in the feels. I’ve done a lot of things that I DON’T regret (that trip to Utah at 30-31 and the Costa Rica trip the following year), but it’s more of the fundamental daily life things that really get me… like, how I should have made my son move to Colorado with me instead of allowing him the choice to stay with his father (Gravity) because he was “legally” an adult. At the very least, I should have done everything in my power to convince him that Colorado would be the best decision – because it would have been… but then again, imagine where I’d be now if I’d done that, with all the shit I’ve had to endure with The Boyfriend up to this point. It wouldn’t have gone very well for me. C’est la Vie!
I was stressing about the Commitment Contract for the Recovery Program. Setting boundaries is fucking hard when you’ve never had boundaries, when you had them beaten and screamed out of you your entire life. I have no control over The Boyfriend’s reactions to them, but I DO have control over putting boundaries in that truly are what I need to feel safe and seen in the relationship moving forward. So, with help from Ashana, I let go of the fear that I’d get yelled at and finally put the ones in that she validated were absolutely good ones to have.
As for something I would regret doing? I’m drawing a hard blank on that. GenGen is currently driving up from where he lives (a 9hr drive) to meet me in person – because I’m in Arkansas and that’s really close. I think I’d regret not getting to meet him if we hadn’t made these Side Quest plans to do so. I mean fuck, he saved my life when I was on the verge of taking a Permanent Nap. There’s something to be said about that, you know? Never mind that I’m meeting someone from the internet that I’ve never met in person – and all the “what if’s” that come from that lol. I can clearly remember The Plague (my father) screaming at me about how everyone on the internet is a rapist or a murderer and how dare I give our phone number to someone I didn’t know (land lines and dial up internet, folks, gave the number to an actual boy in Alaska). Ah well.
Something I can control… *thinks really hard* This is (yet again) another difficult thing to ponder. There’s a lot of things I can’t control right now and that makes me feel pretty powerless. My chronic physical and mental health issues make for a rough go of things. I suppose the most I can control is my voice – especially right here and now doing this blog. So… on that note, I’ll be taking a break for the remainder of my trip, with the Disclaimer that, if I feel like it, I might post again while I’m here. Otherwise, I’ll see you all on the flip side (Sunday, November 2nd)!
12.0 – Why We Procrastinate
Two things for you to think about
Most “time management” problems are really just fear management problems.
Procrastination is merely the avoidance of unpleasant emotions.
Get comfortable with unpleasant emotions and procrastination takes care of itself.
Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.
One thing for you to ask yourself
What unpleasant emotions might you be avoiding in the things you’ve been putting off?
Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.
One thing for you to try this week
That one thing you’ve been procrastinating on? Accept the emotion you’re avoiding without judgment, and see if it makes starting easier. Let me know what happens.
Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs.
Who IS EnchiPants?! 
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