The Boyfriend went to a mandatory work-at-a-store thing yesterday and then a “work” lunch afterwards. As part of the day’s events, 2 of his coworkers planned to come by after to play card/board games. However, 3 more tagged along. Two of them I know, and the new hire that he’s personally training. I’ve previously asked if I need to worry about her, but when she finally arrived… I felt some things. Things I never felt in a romantic relationship before [this addiction fucked me up], like jealousy and envy. I felt like an ugly couch troll in my comfy clothes. I don’t hate her or anything, she’s really nice and cool, but ugh… brains be dumb.

I don’t know what to do with these feelings, either. He told me that she’s half his age and he doesn’t like to “eat where he shits” – i.e. date coworkers, and wouldn’t even if he were single. I feel immense guilt at even having these feelings, but I know that I wouldn’t have them if his addiction (and other things) weren’t an issue.

All the same… I just have to accept that he’s closely working with a gorgeous woman and trust him… no matter how difficult that may be.