HALT is an acronym my EMDR therapist gave me a while back during one of our sessions. It stands for:

• Hungry
• Angry
• Lonely
• Tired

It’s used as a self-check tool to help identify basic needs that may require attention and fulfilment.

For some reason, I woke up with all four of them. I made it through the cat-swapping and making of coffee (super annoying issues with crusty honey containers), then I came upstairs and sat down to journal/blog, but felt an overwhelming sense of dread and annoyance. With my chin in my hand, I let out a groaning sigh and BAM – the HALT acronym slammed it’s way to the forefront of my mind and here we are.

Existing with Treatment-Resistant Major Depressive Disorder/Anhedonia and Anxiety is a whole bitch on it’s own. Some days, I distract myself well enough and make it through without any major incidents. Other days… I wake up and everything sucks. Today is one of those days and it’s really frustrating because Tuesdays are EMDR days. I also have a 1:1 call at noon with my coach from the Recovery Program. I don’t want to be in a bad mood for either of those things. I want them to be productive, whatever that looks like.

I’m starting to suspect that missing my Magnesium last night is part of why I didn’t sleep as well as I could have. I’m in more pain than usual, too, and I’m thinking all that (and more) has a lot to do with the pending visit from Aunt Flo and her Wallpaper Gnomes (my period). This will be the first one since having the Mirena IUD installed… my ObGyn’s solution to hormone issues. I’m noticing that I’m getting feelings of irritation that I haven’t had in a long time with regards to this time of the month. It’s weird and I’m not sure if I approve, but it is what it is and awareness is the first step, right?!

Ugh. Time will tell. Commence with the: