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Tag: anxiety

  • One Week Later…

    One Week Later…

    It’s been a week since I received the last of the intensive part of Ketamine therapy (6 sessions in 2 weeks). Unfortunately, if I don’t hear back directly from the clinic, I’ll be waiting twice as long for the start of my “Maintenance” phase (6 weeks instead of 3). It is what it is, of…

  • Monday Mark – 30.5 & 31.0

    Monday Mark – 30.5 & 31.0

    30.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Your distractions aren’t random. What you reach for when things get uncomfortable tells you what you’re trying not to feel. Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but will only strengthen the feeling you’re trying to escape. What do you reach for when you feel uncomfortable? What are you trying…

  • Ketamine Therapy 2 & 3

    Ketamine Therapy 2 & 3

    I’ve been pretty tired and somewhat busy, but I’m back to talk about my last 2 Ketamine therapy sessions, to the best of my ability. As I said in the last post, it is really difficult to accurately describe how they went. For Thursday’s session, I changed the music to Tibetan singing bowls, figuring that…

  • The Struggle is Real

    The Struggle is Real

    I’ve recently become aware of a concerning pattern with regards to my mental health. I want to note that awareness (admittance?!) of an issue is the first stepping stone in healing/recovery. This isn’t just my opinion, either. Many programs and therapists and all that know that figuring out what the problem is and admitting it…

  • Intrusive Thoughts

    Intrusive Thoughts

    So Sayeth the Google (and it’s a lot of good info): Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, unwelcome, and often disturbing thoughts, images, or urges that pop into one’s mind without warning. They are common, and while often distressing, they are not typically harmful or indicative of mental illness. However, when these thoughts become persistent, intrusive, and lead to…

  • Granny Sidhé & Such

    Granny Sidhé & Such

    I have a few things I participate in to “maintain” what health and well-being can be had, given my state of existence (it isn’t great). Due to trauma (both my lifetime of it and recent events), I am now in 4 different trauma-informed therapies, in addition to regular therapy and couple’s therapy. Weekly, I attend…

  • I’m Tired

    I’m Tired

    I did a “Life Update” on my FB this morning… this is the way I used to journal, once in a blue moon. It isn’t consistent, but sometimes I just throw a bit out there because everything gets to be too much and I need an outlet. Such is the same this morning, except this…

  • Social Security Sucks

    Social Security Sucks

    No lie… I seriously HATE dealing with Social Security, and I’ve had to do so most of The Son’s life, because autism/disability. I’m NOT looking forward to having to deal with them when (if?!) my Disability finally goes through. Long story short… I just got a huge packet in the mail this past Friday with…

  • Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder

    Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder

    First, I want to invite you to check out Shawn Coss and his artwork. The featured picture is his adaptation of Major Depressive Disorder. When I first saw it, I loved it so much that I bought a large print and put it in a frame. It’s so fucking accurate with how this feels that…

  • The Good, the Bad, the UGLY

    The Good, the Bad, the UGLY

    In my last post, I talked about trauma, what it is, the types, and examples of most of what I’ve had to endure on that front. Today – even though I have a couple other things I REALLY want to get off my chest (and maybe I will later?!) – I will divulge how all…

  • The “Slow” Descent

    The “Slow” Descent

    I want my “normal” depression back… If you’ve made it this far into my blog, having read most/all of what came before, you have a decent idea of the severity of my mental health as it stands now, and a relative peek into why (see: The Plague). But for shits and giggles, I’ll put the…