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Tag: depression

  • One Week Later…

    One Week Later…

    It’s been a week since I received the last of the intensive part of Ketamine therapy (6 sessions in 2 weeks). Unfortunately, if I don’t hear back directly from the clinic, I’ll be waiting twice as long for the start of my “Maintenance” phase (6 weeks instead of 3). It is what it is, of…

  • Monday Mark – 30.5 & 31.0

    Monday Mark – 30.5 & 31.0

    30.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Your distractions aren’t random. What you reach for when things get uncomfortable tells you what you’re trying not to feel. Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but will only strengthen the feeling you’re trying to escape. What do you reach for when you feel uncomfortable? What are you trying…

  • Ketamine Therapy (1)

    Ketamine Therapy (1)

    Whew. I have to say, first off, that the Ketamine therapy was intense AF. Mind you, I haven’t tried many “recreational” drugs to compare: pot when I was young for a few years (it makes me sick), mushrooms twice (without much effect), and Ketamine was experienced for the first and only time during a surgery…

  • ADHD Research – Phase 5

    ADHD Research – Phase 5

    Here we are, with my ADHD brain having been inspired to dive into the depths of Research once again. I touched up on my last phase – because damn, I forgot what I wrote about in less than 3 months. Also… it’s really friggin long! The inspiration? Learning about the Limbic System in the Recovery…

  • The Struggle is Real

    The Struggle is Real

    I’ve recently become aware of a concerning pattern with regards to my mental health. I want to note that awareness (admittance?!) of an issue is the first stepping stone in healing/recovery. This isn’t just my opinion, either. Many programs and therapists and all that know that figuring out what the problem is and admitting it…

  • The Constant Battle

    The Constant Battle

    I am cowering in the trenches, covered in mud and sweat, the efforts of this fight having taxed me beyond my capacity. My eyelids clench shut as another wave of darkness howls over my head, whipping my hair and clothes in a torrent that drags on for what feels like hours. Despite my closed eyes,…

  • Infidelity & Inequity

    Infidelity & Inequity

    I am a fairly patient, considerate, and understanding woman. I’ve been through the ringer far too much for one person. I look back at my life and wonder what sort of Karmic Justice I’ve enacted with as much shit as I’ve had to endure, but the fact is… I’m a pretty good egg. I don’t…

  • Thank you, Brain!

    Thank you, Brain!

    Last night, I stayed up far too late playing Valheim and had difficulties falling asleep, thinking about what to write for my blog this morning. Then, for reasons beyond my comprehension, I fell asleep thinking that I didn’t need to worry about it (though I DO have a fantastic topic) because it would be Monday…

  • Bittersweet Purgatory

    Bittersweet Purgatory

    Well, at least the featured AI pic is cool. So Sayeth the Google: Purgatory is a Roman Catholic doctrine describing a post-death process of purification for souls that are not yet perfect enough to enter heaven. Souls in purgatory are in God’s friendship but must be cleansed of attachment to sin before they can reach God’s presence. This…

  • Intrusive Thoughts

    Intrusive Thoughts

    So Sayeth the Google (and it’s a lot of good info): Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, unwelcome, and often disturbing thoughts, images, or urges that pop into one’s mind without warning. They are common, and while often distressing, they are not typically harmful or indicative of mental illness. However, when these thoughts become persistent, intrusive, and lead to…

  • They Used To

    They Used To

    So… I’d like to raise more awareness of what Anhedonia is. This prompt helps because I CAN list 30 things (I think?!), but due to Anhedonia, the title is necessary: “They Used To [Make Me Happy]” We’ll start with the physical shite I can’t (or almost can’t) do any more… Damn, this is feckin hard,…

  • Well… Damn 😥

    Well… Damn 😥

    The Boyfriend is doing individual therapy and I think that’s fantastic. He had a session yesterday while I was at my Trauma-Informed Yoga Therapy, sweating to death with the effort of doing movements that seem like a penance compared to what I used to be able to do many moons ago when I was in…