-
Forgetful
Does childhood trauma cause forgetfulness? Yes, childhood trauma can cause memory loss, including fragmented memories, gaps in time, and a general difficulty recalling past events. This often happens due to the brain’s use of dissociation as a defense mechanism to cope with overwhelming stress, which can disconnect a person from their experiences, making it hard to form and retain memories. …
-
Monday Mark – 8.5 & 9.0
8.5 – For Last Week’s MM: When have you caught yourself living for the emotional scraps of strangers’ opinions? What did it cost you? What would living for yourself look like instead? I used to be really bad about wanting approval from other people. I suppose that’s a byproduct of the trauma that was my entire…
-
Monday Mark – 3.5 & 4.0
3.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Ah, yes. The subject of “pain.” One I know all too well, unfortunately. Mark IS right: pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. In other words, pain will happen, it’s a matter of course for literally just existing. But suffering? Well… as hard as it is to admit and hear, it…
-
Avoidant Personality Disorder
So… along with The Boyfriend’s individual therapist’s initial suspicions, my opinion is that he has Avoidant Personality Disorder. I have suspected this for some time, mostly because I like to do research on things and learn the how and why of behaviors and whatnot. I am an Anxious Attachment Disorder type (though not diagnosed officially).…
-
Monday Mark – 2.5 & 3.0
2.5 – For Last Week’s MM: I actually ponder “trust” and all that entails quite frequently. You see, The Boyfriend broke my trust as early on as last October, though I didn’t know the full extent of it – especially the “wtf is going on” part – until this past February. The consequences of realizing my…
-
EMDR
So Sayeth the Google: EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a psychotherapy treatment that helps people heal from trauma and other distressing life experiences. It’s based on the idea that the mind can naturally heal from psychological trauma in a way similar to how the body heals from physical wounds. EMDR therapy involves eight phases, including…
-
Granny Sidhé & Such
I have a few things I participate in to “maintain” what health and well-being can be had, given my state of existence (it isn’t great). Due to trauma (both my lifetime of it and recent events), I am now in 4 different trauma-informed therapies, in addition to regular therapy and couple’s therapy. Weekly, I attend…
-
Things That Break
I tried to start this post yesterday and just couldn’t. Second attempt?! Today, I wish to write about the “intangible” things that can break. I had planned to use “ethereal” there (it’s a beautiful word, imho), but it has a different connotation and doesn’t quite fit. Google: “Intangible things, while not physical, can be ‘broken’…
-
I’m a Whore for Psychology
A favorite thing of mine to say is, “I’m a whore for __________.” I think it lets the receiver know that I’m pretty obsessed with whatever that thing is. It was especially entertaining when I used it on My German for the first time. Language barriers are fun sometimes, even though he speaks English really…
-
The Aftermath
One song that I used to love, for no other reason than how beautiful it was, is “You Lost Me” – by Christina Aguilera. It’s 15 years old now and I still love it. The problem is that now it’s hauntingly beautiful and – unfortunately – relatable (in a way). It’s another “need to listen…
-
Day 8
Welp… The Boyfriend took me to “Anger Management” as part of our date day… hahaha, okay okay… it was a Rage Room. I got to break shit. It was GLORIOUS! A very rare glimpse of the real me, finishing off the old printer we got to brutally destroy… I even stomped it like the guys…
-
Day 6-7
Despite currently doing the Thing, I decided to go ahead with the IFS/EMDR therapy… I mean, it’s telehealth, so why not?! I had to reschedule from Tuesday to Thursday because the Tuesday stuff made it not possible. All the same, it was rough (as usual). Discovering inner parts of myself that have been stuffed away…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 