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Forgetful
Does childhood trauma cause forgetfulness? Yes, childhood trauma can cause memory loss, including fragmented memories, gaps in time, and a general difficulty recalling past events. This often happens due to the brain’s use of dissociation as a defense mechanism to cope with overwhelming stress, which can disconnect a person from their experiences, making it hard to form and retain memories. …
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Infidelity & Inequity
I am a fairly patient, considerate, and understanding woman. I’ve been through the ringer far too much for one person. I look back at my life and wonder what sort of Karmic Justice I’ve enacted with as much shit as I’ve had to endure, but the fact is… I’m a pretty good egg. I don’t…
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Me Too
DISCLAIMER: Please be advised that I am not going to “soften” words and use things like “grape” or “SA.” This post includes talks of psychological manipulation/coercion, rape, sexual trauma, etc. I don’t have any designs to “bring back” the movement that hit with #metoo nor do I have the knowledge about whether it’s even still…
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Avoidant Personality Disorder
So… along with The Boyfriend’s individual therapist’s initial suspicions, my opinion is that he has Avoidant Personality Disorder. I have suspected this for some time, mostly because I like to do research on things and learn the how and why of behaviors and whatnot. I am an Anxious Attachment Disorder type (though not diagnosed officially).…
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EMDR
So Sayeth the Google: EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a psychotherapy treatment that helps people heal from trauma and other distressing life experiences. It’s based on the idea that the mind can naturally heal from psychological trauma in a way similar to how the body heals from physical wounds. EMDR therapy involves eight phases, including…
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Art Appreciation
Here in Colorado, where the services for mental health are abundant, I discovered a great place that not only got me started with IFS/EMDR, but personal, trauma-informed Yoga therapy, as well. With a lifetime of trauma under my belt, I never imagined that I could participate in a movement/mind-body/trauma type of therapy. And my therapist…
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Granny Sidhé & Such
I have a few things I participate in to “maintain” what health and well-being can be had, given my state of existence (it isn’t great). Due to trauma (both my lifetime of it and recent events), I am now in 4 different trauma-informed therapies, in addition to regular therapy and couple’s therapy. Weekly, I attend…
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Ugh. Mondays.
Welp… I’m honestly at a loss for words (I’m sure that will improve). All I really want to do at this point is curl up and succumb to a permanent nap. Hard truths… I do want my suffering to end, I just don’t have the balls to make that happen. Probably for the best, I…
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I’m a Whore for Psychology
A favorite thing of mine to say is, “I’m a whore for __________.” I think it lets the receiver know that I’m pretty obsessed with whatever that thing is. It was especially entertaining when I used it on My German for the first time. Language barriers are fun sometimes, even though he speaks English really…
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The Dementor
Yeah, I enjoyed Harry Potter. Can’t say I’m a fan of the author, but… this isn’t about HP. It’s – yet another – “nickname” scenario. I met Isaac (The Dementor) in May of 2013, shortly after I’d been fired from the apartment management job (See Here). A friend of mine had set me up to…
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The Aftermath
One song that I used to love, for no other reason than how beautiful it was, is “You Lost Me” – by Christina Aguilera. It’s 15 years old now and I still love it. The problem is that now it’s hauntingly beautiful and – unfortunately – relatable (in a way). It’s another “need to listen…
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Forgiveness
During one of my Women’s Support Group meetings for R4S – an addiction recovery program (more to come on that, stay tuned) – we discussed how difficult it is to forgive our partners for the Betrayal Trauma and everything else they inflicted on us. One of the other ladies talked about the overwhelming pressure that…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 