First, I’m giving credit to Lang Elliot for the featured picture and sharing the site I got it from… but not just that. Definitely go have a listen to the hauntingly beautiful howls of wolves…

Wolf Mountain

Ch’Komi [chi-koh-mee] is the name of the wolf-hybrid companion our family had when I was growing up. I have no pictures of her, unfortunately, but there are plenty of memories… the first from Moab, where I was born – sledding downhill in the snow as Ch’Komi was jumping over us.

She traveled with us to Seattle when I was about 4. She loved rolling on my cat Gonzo, and we shared a meal of dog food once. Gross, I know, haha. But kids be doin’ kid things, m’kay?!

Sadly, this next memory is not pleasant, so… if you’d rather skip this part (animal abuse), I wouldn’t blame you. I was about 5 when it happened, and it was so traumatic that I repressed it until my late 30’s…

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My parents worked for 7-11 and went to a conference where they acquired goodie bags for me and my brother. I wanted to show my friend, Phillip (he was deaf), all the cool things I had… so he came over. He went to reach for the bag, and I pulled it away (intending to take items out by hand to add suspense, I guess). Ch’Komi, bless her, thought he was threatening me and snapped at him… he wasn’t injured, but it scared him badly, and he ran home crying. The commotion brought The Plague (my “father”), and when he found out what happened, he grabbed Ch’Komi violently by the scruff of the neck, dragged her out to the back yard (pained whines the entire way), and proceeded to beat her head against a pile of bricks. I was powerless to stop him. I’d never witnessed such angry violence from him before that day. And, unfortunately, it was so traumatic for me that my brain shoved it into the deepest recesses of my mind, like it had never happened.

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When we moved to Arkansas, Ch’Komi was with us. She had a lot more room to run free and thoroughly enjoyed the one winter when it snowed an entire foot deep. She was like a 2nd mom to me and my brother, if I’m being honest, always with us when we went into the woods to play, vigilant for any danger. I enjoyed pretending to be a wild animal beside her, escaping into my fantasies, which were far preferable to the shitty reality I was in. I loved howling with her, too. It was downright glorious!

Eventually, she grew old, and when her hind legs gave out on her… she had to be sent over the rainbow bridge. My brother and I were indignant back then, not really understanding that it was mercy for her. I understand now, of course. But it was a really difficult thing to have to lose her.

And on the “woo-woo” end of things… I see her as one of my Spirit Guides, always with me, watching vigilantly and protecting me from danger. Bringing me comfort when necessary (ugh, how I miss being able to snuggle up to her).

Wolves are such fascinating creatures. And, I’d say they will always hold a place in my heart because of Ch’Komi. There will never be another animal companion that could compare to how wonderful she was. 💖