Soooo… I went with The Boyfriend on his “run” this morning (it was so early!). We walked the block-ish to the neighborhood park (is smol) and I rested on the first bench while he started his regimen. I did eventually get up and walk the track to the next bench, waiting for him to finish. Then, we walked back home. He actually held my hand! Might seem small to an outsider, but… I appreciated and loved the gesture.
Imma need some inserts for the only “real” pair of shoes I have, lol.
Last night’s check-in was a bit emotional, but I feel like it was productive. Rick (co-founder of the support group we’re in for BF’s addiction) relayed that his heart goes out to me, due to the impending possibility of relationship status changing to “just friends.” That made me cry. I did say, “At least someone cares about my heart.” Or something [petty?!] like that.
The Boyfriend was communicative, which is usually the case after our weekly Men’s/Women’s support group sessions. I like that.
So, I guess the conversation about “what would it look like if we broke up” is a thing that has to happen eventually, just in case he finds himself and decides having a romantic relationship isn’t in his purview (i.e. I’m not worth the effort?!).
I guess it’s better that he’s being so… open? *le sigh*
I’m so fucking tired…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 
7 responses to “Walkies?!”
[…] minutes I have to wait to eat after taking it, because empty stomach and all that. I took it after Walkies this morning. Now I’m hungry. I rarely ever eat this early, but ya know… the body wants […]
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What a lovely moment shared between you and The Boyfriend during his run! It’s the small gestures that often mean the most, isn’t it? I can sense the mix of emotions you’re going through, but it’s great to hear about the open communication between you two. Do you find having these conversations about the possibility of breaking up to be challenging yet important for both of you?
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Yes, I often say, “It’s the little things” because everyday life consists of so many little moments (both positive and negative).
Yes, talking about breaking up is extremely challenging for me. And, since this post (2 days ago, actually), we had the actual conversation about what that would look like for both of us. I cried a lot. It feels real to me when we discuss it. I can’t say how he’s feeling about it, mostly because it seems like no big deal for him. That’s the hardest part about it for me, how calm and emotionless he can be with that type of thing.
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I think I can speak for many men when I say that just because he doesn’t look emotional doesn’t mean he isn’t.
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motiv8n – I agree. It’s just really difficult for him to express them. He hasn’t had much in the way of safety to be vulnerable. I’m trying to be that for him.
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[…] Alone” – ironically – was merely to intro that I went on Walkies by myself today. The Boyfriend was not feeling it, due to eating too late last night and not […]
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[…] bed much later than we wanted, because Valheim. We also got up much earlier than we wanted, because Walkies. […]
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