So Sayeth the Google: EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a psychotherapy treatment that helps people heal from trauma and other distressing life experiences. It’s based on the idea that the mind can naturally heal from psychological trauma in a way similar to how the body heals from physical wounds. EMDR therapy involves eight phases, including identifying and processing traumatic memories through bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements.

I have EMDR therapy on Tuesdays. It’s taken several weeks to get prepared with IFS therapy before starting the actual eye movement in EMDR. I can see why. Bringing up past trauma through verbal prompting and eye movement in order to desensitize and reprocess… is a biiiiiitch (not in a bad way). It’s rough AF, but necessary.

We’ve started with a picture and memories of my riding motorcycles, and the loss of that. It’s so weird to me how such a benign (ish) thing can lead down a rabbit hole of negative feelings and wind up at… The Plague and everything he’s done to me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve known for a while now that he is the root of almost all of my issues, but… ugh. Fuck that guy.

I also learned “Wall Shoves” yesterday, which is as basic as it sounds, but profound in a way that I didn’t expect. Visualizing shoving The Plague while shoving against a wall is deceptively effective. Not only am I NOT physically hurting anyone else or myself (which counts for a lot, in my book), but my body has no idea that I’m NOT actually doing so… and thus, any fight or flight type responses are physically tricked into releasing that anger and frustration (or whatever else comes up).

I started sobbing out of nowhere. It surprised the hell out of me. And when my arms got tired, I shook them out and came back to finish therapy. Then, I took a nap. It really is amazing how well it works.

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Oh, forgot to mention… I kinda did a fall the other day… 😅

I was going downstairs and my left leg/foot did a betray, missing a step, causing me to fall sideways, hit my left ass cheek on the corner of the step (it’s carpeted, thankfully) and land face down on the floor. It all happened so fast that I had to lay there for a good 5 minutes to asses what the fuck had happened. Mars, one of muh boy kittehs, made me into a bed during that time.

But let me tell ya, it took a couple days for the bruise to show up and it looks pretty nasty. 😑 Oops. 😝

Also started a new med for IBS yesterday. 30 minutes I have to wait to eat after taking it, because empty stomach and all that. I took it after Walkies this morning. Now I’m hungry. I rarely ever eat this early, but ya know… the body wants da foooooods.

P.S. The AI Generating picture shite flagged this post and idfk why, so you get a meme for featured pc today mwahahaha