Daily writing prompt

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

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So Sayeth the Google AI Mode (tried a new version):

The word “should” is not inherently “bad” in the sense of being a swear word, but it is often viewed as harmful or counterproductive in psychology, communication, and personal development. The word can create a cycle of shame, guilt, and unrealistic expectations for oneself and others. 

Problems with using “should”

• Encourages shame and guilt. “Should” implies inadequacy in actions or choices. Self-criticism, such as “I should be more productive” or “I shouldn’t feel anxious,” can diminish self-worth.
• Breeds resentment. When used for others, such as “You should do this for me,” the word becomes judgmental. This creates resentment and unrealistic expectations, as others may have different values or priorities.
• Based on external expectations. “Shoulds” often stem from external expectations from family, society, or the workplace. This is a poor motivator, particularly when it leads to burnout from conflicting demands.
• Fosters a fixed, negative mindset. Saying “I should have done that” focuses on past failures and can make you feel stuck. It promotes black-and-white thinking instead of acknowledging nuances and focusing on future growth.
• Disempowers. The word can make you feel a lack of control over your life. It turns actions into obligations rather than conscious choices. 

This is, partially, what I’ve learned through therapy and resources on the interwebs. I’ve heard it called “should-ing yourself” (or others). It’s extremely difficult to stop using that word in the beginning, but it does get easier as time goes on. However, I still struggle with it to this day. “I should be more patient and understanding.” and “I shouldn’t have made that mistake again.” Amongst many other ways I Should myself.

The Boyfriend encountered this exact same thing with his therapist recently and I must admit – I got a little bit excited (and impressed with his therapist) because this is a thing I’ve been practicing for years. I want to help. I’m not an expert, by any means, but… I highly recommend it, all the same. I enjoy being able to, “Aaaaah! Rephrase!” And have the same accountability done with me.

All the same… it’s a good thing to put into practice. It’s not “toxic positivity” (hate that shit with a passion), but a tool to help reframe and rewire how you speak to yourself and others. I hope this is a thing that you can incorporate and succeed at, if you want! 😀