4.5 – For Last Week’s MM:
“How you talk to yourself defines your Self. Be careful what you say.”
Boy… this one was/is a toughie. I find myself talking negatively to myself quite often, so it was really difficult to attempt to reframe that – especially in the moment. I also didn’t encounter very many situations where I could actually practice it, which isn’t the norm. If I’d been tasked with this 10 months ago, I would have failed miserably – repeatedly.
“What are some of the ways you talk to yourself that are unhelpful? How can you rephrase them?”
I grew up believing that everything bad that happened to me, my brother, and my mom – at the hands of my father – was MY fault. It hasn’t been long since I learned to stop blaming myself for his words and actions and point that finger at the source. So, the unhelpful talk is centered around taking the blame for things around and inside me that aren’t actually my fault. I’ve been through the therapy and learning how to change/reframe the way I talk to myself has been… difficult. Mark gives good examples of how to do that, but basically you need to take the “taking it personal” out of it. Turn it into actions, not the self.
“Stop defining yourself in a way that hurts you this week. Let me know how it goes.”
The one time I can recall this week that I was defining myself in a negative and hurtful way, I used the “Wall Shove” technique taught to me by my EMDR therapist to get myself out of it. It worked, to a degree. What helped more was having The Boyfriend acknowledge the hurt he caused, apologize, and hold me carefully while I cried.
5.0 – More Choice, More Happiness?
One thing for you to think about
The happiest people are not the ones with the most options, but the ones who are most satisfied with their choices.
Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.
Two things for you to ask yourself
What choices did you make that you keep questioning? How can you make peace with them?
Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.
One thing for you to try this week
Stop questioning a past choice and focus instead on one you have no doubts about. Let me know how it goes.
Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs.
Who IS EnchiPants?! 