Missed a couple days in journal blogging this week. I haven’t been feeling as good mentally/emotionally as I had when the Fog of Emotional Flatlining finally lifted last week. Been in a “fuck it” and play Enshrouded kinda mood.

Yesterday’s couple’s counseling and last night’s check-in were both fairly rough for me. I’m trying my hardest to be more aware of my own moods as it gets closer to Xmas, but… awareness and ability to keep it in check are two totally different things, ya know? I thought a LOT about what was happening to me last year around this time and it made me cry.

I did think about wanting to write “What a Girl Wants” today… basically, just a list of a few things that I’d love to have from The Boyfriend as a means to emotional connection and intimacy, but… it’s really difficult to actually name those kinds of things. I’ve also expressed, in the past, things that help me to feel loved and appreciated, but they’ve fallen on deaf ears or… idk, maybe he doesn’t care enough to try? Maybe he forgot because it wasn’t important enough to commit to memory? I’m trying SO hard to be patient and understanding.

Anyway… short one today. I’m tired and not feeling it. Sad Panda.