EnchiPants: a blog about the traumatic life of a nerdy girl who grew into a broken woman
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Monday Mark – 10.5 & 11.0
10.5 – For Last Week’s MM: The only way to feel better about yourself is to do things worth feeling good about. Self-love is a form of action, not merely a belief. You can’t think your way into a better life, you have to live it. What have you done recently that’s worth feeling good about? How did…
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3 Wishes
Honestly, I haven’t given this much thought lately, as life has a way of slapping your face with reality and occupying the mind in ways that make “wishful thinking” extremely difficult. But… I’ll do my best! My first wish is something I’ve honed to perfection over the years, as it is the epitome of “If…
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Minecrack
Last night, when we went to bed (together, bc not a work night), I gained some weird tickle in my throat that caused me to cough at irregular intervals. It was so bad that tears and snot started to leak. I had to sit up to wipe my face and blow my nose. The Boyfriend…
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Random Days
Sometimes, I wake up and don’t wanna. I’d rather go back to sleep and say, “Fuck it.” They hit me randomly. Today is one of those days. It also makes it difficult to find anything to write about. Unfortunately, I have commitments – Walkies was one, but The Boyfriend went back to sleep after the…
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The Journey Begins
I had a bit of an emotional rollercoaster yesterday, starting quite early. On Monday, I casually mentioned that we were in the process of signing up for the Recovery Program (RP for short) for The Boyfriend’s addiction. As part of my morning routine, I check our accounts and adjust the budget accordingly (ah yes, this…
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Monday Mark – 9.5 & 10.0
9.5 – For Last Week’s MM: You don’t build resilience by feeling good all the time.You build resilience by getting better at feeling bad. To deny pain is to deny our own potential growth. How good are you at feeling bad? What pain might you be denying? Pick one thing you’re willing to feel bad about,…
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Coffee & Conversation
Ugh. Crawling out of bed to throw on some clothes for Walkies is legitimately an Impossible Task. Having The Boyfriend come in to wake me up for it, though? It’s enough to spur me out of bed. I trudge downstairs… slowly, because my knees are being utter dicks lately. I’m surrounded by cats with varying…
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Clusterf*ck
My brain is exhausted this morning and last night’s pizza (so good) has decided to give me heartburn. This week has been… weird. On the one hand, getting financially approved to pay for the Recovery Program (and subsequently waiting impatiently for that to go through) was the highlight. On the other hand, we’ve fallen off…
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A Fresh Start
We are in the process of getting signed up for the Recovery Program (I’ve mentioned it in the past) for The Boyfriend’s addiction. First, I want to say how excited I am that The Boyfriend took the step to get pre-approved to pay for the program itself. It took a relapse, which does suck overall,…
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Kankles
Today, I feel like sharing a funny clip of the first time my gamer friend Nashi and I played Fortnight… that is all:
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Infidelity & Inequity
I am a fairly patient, considerate, and understanding woman. I’ve been through the ringer far too much for one person. I look back at my life and wonder what sort of Karmic Justice I’ve enacted with as much shit as I’ve had to endure, but the fact is… I’m a pretty good egg. I don’t…
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Monday Mark – 8.5 & 9.0
8.5 – For Last Week’s MM: When have you caught yourself living for the emotional scraps of strangers’ opinions? What did it cost you? What would living for yourself look like instead? I used to be really bad about wanting approval from other people. I suppose that’s a byproduct of the trauma that was my entire…
The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step – Lao Tzu
From the: Tao te Ching
Who IS EnchiPants?! 