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Things That Break
I tried to start this post yesterday and just couldn’t. Second attempt?! Today, I wish to write about the “intangible” things that can break. I had planned to use “ethereal” there (it’s a beautiful word, imho), but it has a different connotation and doesn’t quite fit. Google: “Intangible things, while not physical, can be ‘broken’…
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I’m Just… Tired
I have a Draft titled, “Things That Break” and had every intention of writing about that today, but… I’m just tired. I tried, of course, but my heart just isn’t in it (there’s a broken thing) and my mind is in shambles (ope, another broken thing). This causes me to get distracted easily by things…
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Ugh. Mondays.
Welp… I’m honestly at a loss for words (I’m sure that will improve). All I really want to do at this point is curl up and succumb to a permanent nap. Hard truths… I do want my suffering to end, I just don’t have the balls to make that happen. Probably for the best, I…
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The Void of Despair
“Words of Affirmation” is my Love Language. Words are my emotional and mental lifeblood, they can lift me up AND break me down. They can help me thrive in tough times, or… send me spiraling into The Void of Despair – which is not a good place for me. Hurtful words are like a landmine,…
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WTAF, Brain?!
So, there I was, strolling calmly along a gravel path in “normal” dreamlike fashion, nothing out-of-the-ordinary worth noting. It was a generally nice day with a few clouds scattering the sky. I remember seeing a sign previously, but not what it said, just that it was naming an area where a road would end in…
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I’m a Whore for Psychology
A favorite thing of mine to say is, “I’m a whore for __________.” I think it lets the receiver know that I’m pretty obsessed with whatever that thing is. It was especially entertaining when I used it on My German for the first time. Language barriers are fun sometimes, even though he speaks English really…
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The Dementor
Yeah, I enjoyed Harry Potter. Can’t say I’m a fan of the author, but… this isn’t about HP. It’s – yet another – “nickname” scenario. I met Isaac (The Dementor) in May of 2013, shortly after I’d been fired from the apartment management job (See Here). A friend of mine had set me up to…
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The Aftermath
One song that I used to love, for no other reason than how beautiful it was, is “You Lost Me” – by Christina Aguilera. It’s 15 years old now and I still love it. The problem is that now it’s hauntingly beautiful and – unfortunately – relatable (in a way). It’s another “need to listen…
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I’m Tired
I did a “Life Update” on my FB this morning… this is the way I used to journal, once in a blue moon. It isn’t consistent, but sometimes I just throw a bit out there because everything gets to be too much and I need an outlet. Such is the same this morning, except this…
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Gratitude
Ambigrams are pretty awesome, if you ask me. This is one of my tattoos, which I got ages ago, inspired by my Mentor (Ursa). I was actually IN Colorado at the time of conception, when I spent a solid 6 hours drawing it. It didn’t look like what I have now, though, because when I…
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Gravity – Special Edition
Dis bish. In my first “Gravity” post, I went on quite the rant. I shared very few examples of the bullshit I went through as his wife and subsequently his ex-wife. I barely scratched the surface of the horrible shit he’s put me through, especially after the divorce and the parameters of our shared custody…
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Forgiveness
During one of my Women’s Support Group meetings for R4S – an addiction recovery program (more to come on that, stay tuned) – we discussed how difficult it is to forgive our partners for the Betrayal Trauma and everything else they inflicted on us. One of the other ladies talked about the overwhelming pressure that…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 