A healthy relationship (romantic or not) requires healthy foundations. I used to believe that all that was needed for that was: Trust, Respect, and Communication. I have learned well over the years that it takes so much more than that. While these three things are tantamount, they are not the be all, end all.

So Sayeth the Google:

The foundations of a healthy relationship include trust, honesty, respect, and open communication, which are essential for building a strong connection. Key aspects also involve mutual support, effort, equality, and established boundaries, allowing partners to maintain their independence while working collaboratively toward shared goals. 

Key Pillars of a Healthy Relationship

• Trust and Honesty: Trust is built on consistent honesty, reliability, and keeping promises, creating a secure and stable environment for both partners. 
• Respect: Recognizing and valuing your partner’s thoughts, feelings, individuality, and boundaries, even when they differ from your own, is crucial. 
• Communication: Open and honest communication, which includes active listening and showing genuine interest, allows partners to understand each other and connect on a deeper level. 
• Mutual Support: A healthy relationship thrives when both partners provide emotional and practical support, celebrating each other’s successes and being there during difficult times. 
• Equality and Collaboration: There should be a balanced power dynamic, with partners sharing decision-making and working together as a team. 
• Boundaries and Independence: Each individual needs to maintain their sense of self and personal freedom, which is facilitated by setting clear boundaries within the relationship. 
• Commitment and Effort: Healthy relationships require ongoing effort and commitment from both individuals to nurture and grow the connection over time. 
• Authenticity: Both partners should feel comfortable and free to be their true selves, without fear of judgment or retribution. 

These are all very good things to have in a relationship, fostering that healthiness needed. But, I would posit that even more beyond that is needed. For example, communication is really great, especially being open and honest with it at all times. However, understanding and empathy further support that in ways that “just talking” won’t accomplish. If your partner isn’t truly understanding and empathizing with your point of view… then all the talking in the world won’t help.

Patience and Forgiveness are also very important. We are human and we all make mistakes, it’s part of the growing process. Giving your partner the Grace they need to try again, until they get it right, will solidify the connection you have.

Friendship and Intimacy are more ways to foster closeness. If you’re not friends with your partner, animosity and resentment can fester and grow. As for intimacy, this goes beyond “sex.” Hugs, kisses, kind and loving words, or literally any gesture that shows your partner that you are thinking of them, considering them in every day life… is crucial.

I’m sure there are other foundational things that people find fundamental for themselves, and that is up to each and every individual. May you and yours succeed in creating the best possible relationships. 💖

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As for me… I’m struggling. I do my best to adhere to all of these examples and more, but I reiterate that I am merely human. I have a big heart and lots of love to give, but I also suffer from so much pain and trauma that there are days (especially recently) where I just can’t drum up the self worth. Motivation skitters away like a cockroach in the light. My desire to speak up gets silenced by a single phrase (like: “it could be worse”) and the decades of toxicity that trained me to keep my mouth shut come roaring into the present moment, overwhelming everything else. And I cry. I cry easily and frequently when things aren’t going well. I’m super sensitive and hate it.

Aaaanyhoozle… I also want to express that I am going to eliminate Fridays from my writing, and I shall henceforth call it “Friday Free Day.” I’m proud of myself for how often I’ve kept up with this journal blogging, barely missing any days, and finding new things to commit to (such as Monday Mark). So, I’m giving myself a tiny bit of a break and taking one single day out of the running. Now, this isn’t to say if I stumble upon something glorious to write about that I won’t just hop on and do so, but… the idea is there and it is helping me feel good that I can have an official day off. Yay me!