Whew. This is a deep one, yeah?
I sat and pondered this question for a few, because I feel like my knee-jerk answer (to be seen as “kind”) was merely surface level and not nearly accurate enough. While I do wish to be seen as someone that is kind, it doesn’t do justice to all of who and what I am or want others to see in me.
I want people to feel SAFE when they meet me for the first time (and beyond). That sense of safety requires a plethora of other descriptive words, such as: possessing warmth and depth, approachable, kind, empathetic, a good listener, wise, and understanding. I’m sure I could list many more, but I believe those will do (for now).
As someone that grew up in an unhealthy (nay, toxic as fuck) environment and walked into and through adulthood (to this day) never feeling truly safe (yay, trauma!), I want to BE that safe place for the people around me – including strangers. Granted, I don’t want that to be seen as a weakness (because it isn’t), nor be taken advantage of (heh, FAFO)… I want that safety to be seen as a welcoming and warm invitation to be vulnerable, trusting that I have that individual’s best interests at heart. I want that because I have very rarely ever had it and know what the absence of that safety feels like.
And just IMAGINE if each and every one of us worked hard to be a safe place for literally anyone and everyone. We could have open and vulnerable conversations, care and value one another because of our differences, and genuinely live lives full of love, compassion, and happiness.
Of course, there are exceptions to this (hello, Gravity and The Plague)… Narcissists and Sociopaths and all other manners of horrible individuals DO exist, but… I don’t believe that people like that were born that way, they were created. And as such, if they had been given the safety necessary to grow into a decent human being, who knows if they’d be as shitty as they are today? [Disclaimer: Still doesn’t excuse who and what they are, let alone the damage they’ve caused, by any means.]
But… in the end, I know that all I can do is strive to be that safe type of person and hope that others are inspired to do the same.
Who IS EnchiPants?! 