22.5 – For Last Week’s MM:
Do you have trouble saying “no”? Why do you think you do?
Say “no” to one thing you’d normally say “yes” to, then regret later. If you’re not sure how, download my free Boundaries, Solved Guide.
This is a work in progress for me. I used to be a people pleaser, but I started working on that when I moved here to Colorado a year and 4 months ago (mid-August 2024).
As for why it’s a thing… probably because I had it beaten into me that I had to acquiesce to every whim of every person I came across or I’d be seen as selfish, or worse – they’d get mad and yell at me. I started not caring what other people thought about me and doing things that aligned more with what I wanted/needed. The harder part is the fear of retaliation. It’s going to take me a long while to get over that part, unfortunately.
23.0 – The Paradox of Change
Two things for you to think about
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers
The best way to become the person you want to be is to put yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to become them.
Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.
Two things for you to ask yourself
Are you trying to change because you genuinely want to grow—or because you don’t like who you are right now?
What happens if you accept the part of you that you’ve been trying to reject?
Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.
One thing for you to try this week
Stop trying to change one thing about yourself—and change the situation instead. Then, let me know what happens.
Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs.
As for how I’m doing… I guess I had a better day yesterday, mostly because I distracted the fuck out of myself with Enshrouded. The Boyfriend has been doing extra educational things for his job and he was doing that the entire time I was playing, so we didn’t spend much time together. I’m swinging wildly between despair and giving up/not caring and clutching desperately at any hopeful glimmers…
This morning, I’m thinking about how selfish and inconsiderate he is. But along with that, I think about whether I’m being the same way. In comparison, I wonder whether his selfishness is filled with shame, guilt, and other negative motivations, while mine are filled with a deep need to be accepted and loved – something I’ve hardly ever encountered in my life. The main problem is that I don’t know because he doesn’t tell me. It really feels like he just doesn’t want to face the hard shit or work towards being a better person, to connect deeper to his emotions and possibly to me and the pain he’s caused.
I’ve seen the glimmers of who he is deep down. The hurt little boy inside that has been stuck since his mom passed away, and all the shitty things he’s had to endure growing up. I know he’s a really great man and has the potential to grow out of the crappy coping mechanisms… I just don’t know if I’ll survive long enough before he actually gets somewhere better, somewhere that helps support and love me along the way. It might very well destroy me completely and then what? The work to earn back my heart, which keeps being shattered, will be even harder.
But… it is what it is…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 