EnchiPants: a blog about the traumatic life of a nerdy girl who grew into a broken woman
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Self Care
This one will be quick and dirty, me thinks. I only have a short time before I have to leave for a doctor’s appointment (why did I make it for 7am?!). Ever since the Ex-Texting Incident – and my subsequent panic attack and many conversations about it – I’ve dropped deeply into “Emotional Flatlining” Mode…
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My Top 3 “Pet Peeves”
Oof. Well, this one is actually turning out to be a bit more in depth than I expected. I’m going to go with the knee-jerk responses, then dive deeper into the underlying problem. 1.) Tailgaters: This does not refer to the people that gather around to let their tailgates down and drink and sing and…
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Monday Mark – 15.5 & 16.0
15.5 – For Last Week’s MM: If you’re not willing to be laughed at, you’ll spend your life clapping for people who were. There are graveyards full of people who constantly told themselves “one day.” What are you avoiding right now because you’re afraid to be laughed at? What would it take to stop saying “one…
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The Constant Battle
I am cowering in the trenches, covered in mud and sweat, the efforts of this fight having taxed me beyond my capacity. My eyelids clench shut as another wave of darkness howls over my head, whipping my hair and clothes in a torrent that drags on for what feels like hours. Despite my closed eyes,…
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Technologia! 😅
I’m starting to feel like one of those “old” people when it comes to handling certain aspects of technology… In one of the recent videos for the Recovery Program, the Founders talked about the monitoring app they recommend and why. The Boyfriend voluntarily suggested we change the one we were using to the one they…
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Mostly?!
I have and continue to struggle to fully accept and trust my instincts. My instincts are consistently at odds with my logical brain and my desire to give people the benefit of the doubt. There have been a few key times in my life where I have listened and fully trusted my instincts, especially regarding…
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Maintenance
I just spent the last 20 minutes going through about 5 pages of my blogs to catch up on sorting them into categories. I’m really glad there’s a “quick edit” option that I can just select which category I need to put the post in. I seriously need to remember to select the category when…
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Monday Mark – 14.5 & 15.0
14.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Everything you believe will one day fail you. Let it. Because that’s how you grow. When’s the last time you said, “I changed my mind”? Is there a “truth” you hold onto that might actually be holding you back? Pick one belief you’ve never questioned and ask: “What if I’m…
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Safety First
Whew. This is a deep one, yeah? I sat and pondered this question for a few, because I feel like my knee-jerk answer (to be seen as “kind”) was merely surface level and not nearly accurate enough. While I do wish to be seen as someone that is kind, it doesn’t do justice to all…
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Side Quest!
This one will be brief 😛 I made friends (on FB) with The Boyfriend’s step-sister fairly early on. From the little bit we’ve interacted, she seems like a good egg. Great sense of humor and kind. I also found out that we are Birthday Twins! How cool is that?! We were finally able to get…
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Forgetful
Does childhood trauma cause forgetfulness? Yes, childhood trauma can cause memory loss, including fragmented memories, gaps in time, and a general difficulty recalling past events. This often happens due to the brain’s use of dissociation as a defense mechanism to cope with overwhelming stress, which can disconnect a person from their experiences, making it hard to form and retain memories. …
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That First Sip
One of the small pleasures I have left in life is that first sip of coffee in the morning, just before I come upstairs to blog. Anhedonia has robbed me of so much joy that it’s impossible to find and feel anything positive. Despite that, I do try. I check in with my emotions at…
The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step – Lao Tzu
From the: Tao te Ching
Who IS EnchiPants?! 