EnchiPants: a blog about the traumatic life of a nerdy girl who grew into a broken woman
-
It’s a Slippery Slope
Recovery from Addiction is a mountainous climb that involves many treacherous situations. One wrong move and you’re sliding down that slippery slope back to the bottom. I’m addicted to nicotine, but I won’t say that I fully understand other addictions. I believe I have a good enough grasp of it, based on the research and…
-
Fell Off the Wagon
Missed a couple days in journal blogging this week. I haven’t been feeling as good mentally/emotionally as I had when the Fog of Emotional Flatlining finally lifted last week. Been in a “fuck it” and play Enshrouded kinda mood. Yesterday’s couple’s counseling and last night’s check-in were both fairly rough for me. I’m trying my…
-
Jim
Growing up, I didn’t have much in the way of “positively impactful” male role models. I didn’t get to spend much time with my maternal grandfather (Papa) – who was a great man – as far as I can remember (he passed when I was 13). And when I did (summers in Colorado), it was…
-
Monday Mark – 17.5 & 18.0
17.5 – For Last Week’s MM: When people ask, “What is my life purpose?” What they’re actually asking without realizing it is: “How can I use my time in a way that feels meaningful?” You don’t find your purpose.You build your purpose, experiment by experiment, mistake by mistake. What do you spend your time on that feels meaningful?…
-
Wild Animals
I want to go two ways with this, lol. Literal and conceptual. Given that I live in the suburbs of Colorado Springs, the most I can hope to see as far as “wild” animals is concerned is… squirrels. And they’re brave little shits, too. They stand on the wooden fence in the back yard and…
-
Xmas Season… ugh
A year ago, I was in the throes of questioning my ability to make good choices when it came to men (a repeating pattern, unfortunately), wallowing in mountains of self-pity, severely beating myself up for being utterly stupid – yet again – for falling for sweet words and promises that turned out to be lies,…
-
It’s Snowing…
Today, I have three appointments: regular therapy, ObGyn, and Podiatrist. Thankfully, regular therapy is Telehealth, so I don’t have to do the required driving (13 miles) for that. However… I do have to venture out into this weather for my ObGyn (3.5 miles) and Podiatrist (1.4 miles), so it’s not too bad, but still… I’ll…
-
Integrity
I pondered this question for a short while, considering empathy, honesty, openness, and kindness as my answers. And then it dawned on me that ALL of these things can be wrapped neatly into: INTEGRITY. What does it mean to have integrity? To have integrity means to be honest, morally upright, and consistent in your actions by…
-
Monday Mark – 16.5 & 17.0
16.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Everything good comes to an end.Learn from it. Grow from it. Be grateful for it. Everything bad comes to an end.Learn from it. Grow from it. Be grateful for it. What’s something good in your life that ended? What did you learn? What’s something bad in your life that ended?…
-
Doom Scrolling
Yesterday’s Xmas Cookie Making Extravaganza at Mom’s was really hard on my body. I pushed myself too hard and stayed too long. I texted The Boyfriend near the end to let him know how difficult it was and he… offered to have tea and a blanket ready for me for when I got home?! I…
-
Stranger Things
I am a LITTLE obsessed with Stranger Things. I have the main theme as an alarm tone. One of my favorite things to wear is an overly large Stranger Things long-sleeve shirt (it has pockets). Since the first half of the newest (and last?!) season dropped over the holiday, I asked The Boyfriend to do…
-
Friendsgiving
For many, many moons, I have been participating in “Friendsgiving” instead of Thanksgiving with blood relatives (I choose this terminology because “family” means something different for me). I barely remember the last, official Thanksgiving I went to at Sandy’s (step-grandma). I brought The Son, both my parents and brother were there, and I don’t recall…
The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step – Lao Tzu
From the: Tao te Ching
Who IS EnchiPants?! 