Who IS EnchiPants?!

Category: Mental & Physical Health

  • Ketamine Therapy 2 & 3

    Ketamine Therapy 2 & 3

    I’ve been pretty tired and somewhat busy, but I’m back to talk about my last 2 Ketamine therapy sessions, to the best of my ability. As I said in the last post, it is really difficult to accurately describe how they went. For Thursday’s session, I changed the music to Tibetan singing bowls, figuring that…

  • Ketamine Therapy (1)

    Ketamine Therapy (1)

    Whew. I have to say, first off, that the Ketamine therapy was intense AF. Mind you, I haven’t tried many “recreational” drugs to compare: pot when I was young for a few years (it makes me sick), mushrooms twice (without much effect), and Ketamine was experienced for the first and only time during a surgery…

  • Tomorrow…

    Tomorrow…

    These last few days have been a conglomerate of sinking mood, worsening pain, one half-day headache, and ruminations about life in general. Tuesday I had a really rough EMDR session, where we dug deep into my abandonment issues. I learned a lot, but it left me feeling completely drained. I took a nap immediately afterwards.…

  • ADHD Research – Phase 5

    ADHD Research – Phase 5

    Here we are, with my ADHD brain having been inspired to dive into the depths of Research once again. I touched up on my last phase – because damn, I forgot what I wrote about in less than 3 months. Also… it’s really friggin long! The inspiration? Learning about the Limbic System in the Recovery…

  • The Back Deck Incident

    The Back Deck Incident

    In the interest of not having much motivation to blog/journal, let alone something to talk about… I’ve titled this as what my EMDR therapist and myself are calling the memory of when my brain “broke” and Anhedonia took over. It seemed fitting enough, since we started working on it yesterday. It was rough, but necessary,…

  • For What It’s Worth

    For What It’s Worth

    Yesterday started off really well for me, talking on the phone with my mom about all sorts of things. I wanted to share a couple of them with The Boyfriend, when he finally came downstairs. He prepared a bowl of cereal and I excitedly asked if we could talk. While standing at the bottom of…

  • Screen Time Before Bed

    Screen Time Before Bed

    So, The Boyfriend seems to believe that screen time during bed time right before sleeping… is just some wrong opinion I have. Yesterday, we did a worksheet for the Recovery Program and it involved identifying areas of neuroplasticity that we could work to improve. There were 3 out of 6 types of neuroplasticity listed and…

  • HALT

    HALT

    HALT is an acronym my EMDR therapist gave me a while back during one of our sessions. It stands for: It’s used as a self-check tool to help identify basic needs that may require attention and fulfilment. For some reason, I woke up with all four of them. I made it through the cat-swapping and…

  • The Struggle is Real

    The Struggle is Real

    I’ve recently become aware of a concerning pattern with regards to my mental health. I want to note that awareness (admittance?!) of an issue is the first stepping stone in healing/recovery. This isn’t just my opinion, either. Many programs and therapists and all that know that figuring out what the problem is and admitting it…

  • Jealousy

    Jealousy

    The Boyfriend went to a mandatory work-at-a-store thing yesterday and then a “work” lunch afterwards. As part of the day’s events, 2 of his coworkers planned to come by after to play card/board games. However, 3 more tagged along. Two of them I know, and the new hire that he’s personally training. I’ve previously asked…

  • Fell Off the Wagon

    Fell Off the Wagon

    Missed a couple days in journal blogging this week. I haven’t been feeling as good mentally/emotionally as I had when the Fog of Emotional Flatlining finally lifted last week. Been in a “fuck it” and play Enshrouded kinda mood. Yesterday’s couple’s counseling and last night’s check-in were both fairly rough for me. I’m trying my…

  • Xmas Season… ugh

    Xmas Season… ugh

    A year ago, I was in the throes of questioning my ability to make good choices when it came to men (a repeating pattern, unfortunately), wallowing in mountains of self-pity, severely beating myself up for being utterly stupid – yet again – for falling for sweet words and promises that turned out to be lies,…