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Tomorrow…
These last few days have been a conglomerate of sinking mood, worsening pain, one half-day headache, and ruminations about life in general. Tuesday I had a really rough EMDR session, where we dug deep into my abandonment issues. I learned a lot, but it left me feeling completely drained. I took a nap immediately afterwards.…
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ADHD Research – Phase 5
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The Back Deck Incident
In the interest of not having much motivation to blog/journal, let alone something to talk about… I’ve titled this as what my EMDR therapist and myself are calling the memory of when my brain “broke” and Anhedonia took over. It seemed fitting enough, since we started working on it yesterday. It was rough, but necessary,…
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For What It’s Worth
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Screen Time Before Bed
So, The Boyfriend seems to believe that screen time during bed time right before sleeping… is just some wrong opinion I have. Yesterday, we did a worksheet for the Recovery Program and it involved identifying areas of neuroplasticity that we could work to improve. There were 3 out of 6 types of neuroplasticity listed and…
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HALT
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The Struggle is Real
I’ve recently become aware of a concerning pattern with regards to my mental health. I want to note that awareness (admittance?!) of an issue is the first stepping stone in healing/recovery. This isn’t just my opinion, either. Many programs and therapists and all that know that figuring out what the problem is and admitting it…
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Jealousy
The Boyfriend went to a mandatory work-at-a-store thing yesterday and then a “work” lunch afterwards. As part of the day’s events, 2 of his coworkers planned to come by after to play card/board games. However, 3 more tagged along. Two of them I know, and the new hire that he’s personally training. I’ve previously asked…
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Fell Off the Wagon
Missed a couple days in journal blogging this week. I haven’t been feeling as good mentally/emotionally as I had when the Fog of Emotional Flatlining finally lifted last week. Been in a “fuck it” and play Enshrouded kinda mood. Yesterday’s couple’s counseling and last night’s check-in were both fairly rough for me. I’m trying my…
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Xmas Season… ugh
A year ago, I was in the throes of questioning my ability to make good choices when it came to men (a repeating pattern, unfortunately), wallowing in mountains of self-pity, severely beating myself up for being utterly stupid – yet again – for falling for sweet words and promises that turned out to be lies,…
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It’s Snowing…
Today, I have three appointments: regular therapy, ObGyn, and Podiatrist. Thankfully, regular therapy is Telehealth, so I don’t have to do the required driving (13 miles) for that. However… I do have to venture out into this weather for my ObGyn (3.5 miles) and Podiatrist (1.4 miles), so it’s not too bad, but still… I’ll…
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Stranger Things
Who IS EnchiPants?! 