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The Past Meets the Present
Fair warning, this one is going to be REALLY long. I was perusing my old “journal” notes in my phone from way back when I was with The Dementor… starting around 2020. It’s fucking ironic that the similarities between what I felt and wrote about back then are almost an exact mirror of the shit…
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Fuck Your Potential
Why is falling in love with someone’s potential so dangerous? I mean… potential to grow is supposed to be a GOOD thing, right?! Thing is… you can’t MAKE someone believe in their own potential, let alone work towards it. No matter how hard you try. And? We are all only responsible for our own shit,…
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Crestfallen
Now that I’ve had a nap, I feel less tired. Problem is, I am an “Emotional Masochist” and started a romantic movie called “The Idea of You” with Anne Hathaway (love her!) and Nicolas Galitzine (never heard of him before this). Yeeeeah… I stopped halfway through. For some fucked up reason, I watch these movies…
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A New Book
I got myself a new book to read about moving beyond betrayal. Chapter 2 title? Not All Forms of Addiction Are Created Equal. Thing is… since I’ve been through numerous forms of trauma, I already know this fact. This trauma is new to me, unfortunately, and I’m sure that a couple of the previous ones…
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“Well… Life Isn’t Fair”
I really [fucking] hate that sentiment. Like… it elicits a deep, visceral rage inside my guts when I hear it. And I’ve even used the damn phrase. Doesn’t make it any less condescending and dismissive, though. And yeah, life ISN’T fucking fair, but who gives a shit?! Sometimes, whatever thing we’re going through sucks major…
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It Feeds the Soul
Once in a while, I just need to sit and listen to music… it feeds my soul. Most times, I listen to sad songs about broken love because I’m already sad. It helps me, even though it seems counterproductive. And today, as every day, I’m exhausted and just want to throw something out there that…
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Well… Damn 😥
The Boyfriend is doing individual therapy and I think that’s fantastic. He had a session yesterday while I was at my Trauma-Informed Yoga Therapy, sweating to death with the effort of doing movements that seem like a penance compared to what I used to be able to do many moons ago when I was in…
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What IS love?!
Sometimes, I have a really difficult time trying to Brain. I was reviewing my previous post titles to see if I could find some inspiration and I noticed I have at least TWO “I’m tired” style titles. I mean… I am – literally all the time – but sheesh. Writing about how tired I am…
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It’s All About the Balance
The whole of existence is inundated with opposing forces: Light and Dark, Fate and Free Will, Love and Hate, Life and Death, Public and Private, Past and Present, Fast and Slow, Youth and Age, Dreaming and Reality… and so much more. I find that a healthy balance of Yin and Yang, both sides of the…
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Giving Grace
One type of therapy I’m in (*counting* Out of 6?!) is Trauma-Informed Yoga Therapy. Thus, because I looked up the meaning of her real name to give a nickname for privacy, my yoga therapist’s official nickname as of this morning is: Grace. Hi, I hope you like the nickname! Thank you for reading my blog!…
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Things That Break
I tried to start this post yesterday and just couldn’t. Second attempt?! Today, I wish to write about the “intangible” things that can break. I had planned to use “ethereal” there (it’s a beautiful word, imho), but it has a different connotation and doesn’t quite fit. Google: “Intangible things, while not physical, can be ‘broken’…
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I’m Just… Tired
I have a Draft titled, “Things That Break” and had every intention of writing about that today, but… I’m just tired. I tried, of course, but my heart just isn’t in it (there’s a broken thing) and my mind is in shambles (ope, another broken thing). This causes me to get distracted easily by things…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 