25.5 – For Last Week’s MM:

You can have anything you want in life. You just can’t have everything you want.

The game of life is trade-offs.

Being willing to disappoint people is the only way to be truly free.

Who are you afraid of disappointing if you really go for what you want?

Choose one trade-off you want, and go for it—even if it means disappointing someone. Let me know what happens.

Then let me know what changes when your actions match what you say matters.

This one is especially difficult for me, because my life has been filled with a lot of disappointment. I have wanted for many good things and come up short, at a loss, and sometimes suffered for the wanting. My trade-offs have been, “Do I really want this thing or do I want to be safe?” The only things I’ve wanted in life and gotten good results from is when I was raising my son. I wanted the best for him, whatever and however that looked, and so I sacrificed and worked hard to get them. It was a massive struggle the whole time, because raising a special needs person is difficult – especially when you have to fight the system to get them the care they need and deserve.

Anyway, the last time I truly got what I didn’t want as a trade-off and possible disappointment is when I said no to my mom about joining “the family” for dinner after a recent photo shoot. I’ve been learning how to say no when I know I won’t enjoy gatherings and whatnot. I used to just say yes and acquiesce… cuz people pleasing is a thing.

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26.0 – One Relationship Changes the Rest

Two things for you to think about

A great spouse makes everything else in your life easier.
A bad spouse makes everything else in your life harder.

Your romantic relationship is your highest leverage choice in life.

Every healthy relationship starts with two people who have healthy relationships with themselves.

Any toxic relationship is the result of at least one person’s toxic relationship with themselves.

Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.

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Two things for you to ask yourself

Think of your most important relationship—this could be your spouse, your partner, your family, a friend.

Is it making everything else in your life easier, or harder? Why?

Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.

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One thing for you to try this week

Do one thing this week you’ve been promising yourself you’d do. Then notice how that changes how you show up with other people.

Let me know what you find.

Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs.

https://markmanson.net/

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As for how I’m doing… Well, I’m a day late to getting this post up (but backdating is cool). My mental health has been pretty low lately. Program work has gone agonizingly slow. An argument with The Boyfriend a couple weeks ago had ramifications that lasted for days, well into every therapy I had afterwards. And, as I keep having to say, I’m just… tired.