38.5 – For Last Week’s MM:
Being busy is not being able to add anything else to your calendar.
Being fulfilled is not wanting to add anything else to your calendar.Don’t confuse one for the other.
Is your calendar full because you want it to be, or because you can’t say no?
If you had a free day, what would you do?
Remove one thing from your calendar that doesn’t fulfil you. Use that time for something that does. Reply and let me know how that feels.
I honestly can’t do this one, because I always have free days. This comes with being unable to work. The most “busy” I get is doctor’s appointments, therapy, and the like.
39.0 – The Ultimate Cheat Code
One thing for you to think about
An underrated cheat code in life: being incredibly reliable.
Show up on time.
Do what you say you will.
Own your mistakes.
It goes so much further than you think.
Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.
Two things for you to ask yourself
If you asked the people closest to you, would they say you’re reliable?
Where in your life might you be letting people down?
Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.
One thing for you to try this week
Pick one thing you said you would do and haven’t. Do it this week. Reply and tell me what happened.
Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs.
As for how I’m doing… The Boyfriend and I had a very rough week. I’d caught more relapses and had to enact the consequences we agreed on in our revised commitment contract, and he did not take that well. We had a MAJOR blow-out argument/fight the following day… like, I lost my shit (and this is not a thing I do). I mean, he threw a whole tantrum about it. I still feel guilty for losing my cool and yelling at him, but on the other hand… he was being wholly unreasonable. The night before my birthday, he decided that he wanted to break up with me. I was catatonic the rest of the night, took muscle relaxers just to sleep. And, of course, I ignored and avoided him on my birthday, because why should I be “nice” and pretend nothing was wrong?! I turned off the electronics monitoring and sure enough… he went full ham on the addiction relapse (I looked). That evening, we went to a friend’s for board games and pizza, but I had to spend most of my energy and concentration on not throwing up. It was brutal. After getting home and doing a couple things, he came to sit with me on the couch and initiated a conversation… which was productive. It eased the barfing factor, but that was about it. He asked me to turn the monitoring back on and assured me that he wanted to continue with the program. The next day was when he actually apologized for how the week had gone, etc. And that evening’s check-in we discussed starting the program over and getting back together. He’s been pretty open and honest about stuff since then, so… crisis averted?!
Can’t say that I had a good time in all that. I haven’t felt that horrible since I watched my friend get hit on a motorcycle and die in the ditch, along with a couple other deaths that same week… it really was THAT bad for me.
In hindsight, it’s easier to rationalize how much he needed to explode, I guess, to get all the things out and realize how bad his addiction really is. Outside of that, I’ve mostly been trying to physically and mentally recover. The shock to my whole nervous system was pretty bad.
Ugh. Addiction sucks whale anus.
Who IS EnchiPants?! 