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Thank you, Brain!
Last night, I stayed up far too late playing Valheim and had difficulties falling asleep, thinking about what to write for my blog this morning. Then, for reasons beyond my comprehension, I fell asleep thinking that I didn’t need to worry about it (though I DO have a fantastic topic) because it would be Monday…
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The Downward Spiral
Yesterday, as The Boyfriend recovered from… stuff… I messaged (he was upstairs) and asked if anything was the matter, pointing out that he seemed distant. He didn’t answer, so I went outside to lay sideways in my hammock and rock myself while I spiraled into the Void of Self-Loathing and Despair. I cried silently, just…
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Me Too
DISCLAIMER: Please be advised that I am not going to “soften” words and use things like “grape” or “SA.” This post includes talks of psychological manipulation/coercion, rape, sexual trauma, etc. I don’t have any designs to “bring back” the movement that hit with #metoo nor do I have the knowledge about whether it’s even still…
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Connection
This morning after Walkies, I got in the shower. The Boyfriend had expressed joining me. At one point, he came in to the bathroom like he was about to do so, then left. As time went on and I did my thing, he didn’t come back. When I was finishing up, I called out and…
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I Miss My Old Sleep
Four score and seven years ago… or some time in 2021… I slept well. Granted, I slept a lot, it was very difficult to wake me, and I was a grumpy bish upon waking, buuuuut… omg did I sleep hard and have better energy. Then, I started taking Gabapentin (for nerve issues). I believe I…
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“Should”
So Sayeth the Google AI Mode (tried a new version): The word “should” is not inherently “bad” in the sense of being a swear word, but it is often viewed as harmful or counterproductive in psychology, communication, and personal development. The word can create a cycle of shame, guilt, and unrealistic expectations for oneself and others. …
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Avoidant Personality Disorder
So… along with The Boyfriend’s individual therapist’s initial suspicions, my opinion is that he has Avoidant Personality Disorder. I have suspected this for some time, mostly because I like to do research on things and learn the how and why of behaviors and whatnot. I am an Anxious Attachment Disorder type (though not diagnosed officially).…
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Bittersweet Purgatory
Well, at least the featured AI pic is cool. So Sayeth the Google: Purgatory is a Roman Catholic doctrine describing a post-death process of purification for souls that are not yet perfect enough to enter heaven. Souls in purgatory are in God’s friendship but must be cleansed of attachment to sin before they can reach God’s presence. This…
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The Down Side
H. I. Triple L. The Downhill Slide? Sorry. I’m late posting today, the motivation has flown away into the vast beyond. After the shenanigans with the former anti-psychotic and all that entailed, I’m glad to be off it, but… I wonder if it wasn’t ALSO helping with motivation. I stopped taking it because of the…
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EMDR
So Sayeth the Google: EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a psychotherapy treatment that helps people heal from trauma and other distressing life experiences. It’s based on the idea that the mind can naturally heal from psychological trauma in a way similar to how the body heals from physical wounds. EMDR therapy involves eight phases, including…
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Love/Hate
Thank you TonysBologna: “How to Write More” – for inspiring me to get off my ass and just write. I was legitimately on my ass on the couch scrolling on my phone… and ya called me out (damnit 😝)! Also, visit the site where I got the featured picture from, because holy shit that’s some…
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Painful Sleep
This bout with the meds and shit really screwed things up for me. Not shocking, it DOES happen, but fuck me is it frustrating. I hate it. Trying to find medicine to help me with pain (or “happiness”) is like finding needle in a haystack. And? Even if it works, the side effects are unbearable…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 