Who IS EnchiPants?!

Category: Mental & Physical Health

  • An Unexpected Lifeline

    An Unexpected Lifeline

    I previously wrote two posts: ADHD Research Phase 1 and Phase 2 – detailing my (once again) renewed research energy in trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Based on previous research and updated information from viable resources on the internet, I curated these posts specifically to remember exactly what I…

  • My Whole Life

    My Whole Life

    Honestly, it would be easier to list the times I haven’t felt out of place. Those rare times in my life that I’ve felt “at home” in certain places and with certain people. I have very seldom “fit in.” It’s also slim pickings to have felt this way in my own body and space, no…

  • ADHD Research – Phase 2

    ADHD Research – Phase 2

    Whew. Ok, so… day before yesterday I went into ADHD Research Mode and info dumped quite a bit… mostly so that I could have a place where I’ve documented what I was looking for and not forget. Also, to deep dive further. Here is the continuation of my rabbit hole-ing… I left off with the…

  • ADHD Research – Phase 1

    ADHD Research – Phase 1

    Once in a while, the “whore for <insert thing>” part of me gets a random flash of inspiration to delve deeply into research because I have an insatiable desire to know “why it do dis?!” Today’s Inspiration?! Why the hell does my body keep – repeatedly – rejecting medications (specifically after having my period)? For…

  • The Reclamation Room

    The Reclamation Room

    So I’m gonna go out on a limb and share something I did, the limb being “omg there’s my whole face n shit”… lol Thing is, I’m not really trying to remain super anonymous or anything, but it feels weird sharing my actual self after so long using an AI created icon and such (which,…

  • Coping Mechanisms

    Coping Mechanisms

    Sometimes, mindless tasks help distract my brain from the overwhelming pressure and weight of my TRMDD/Anhedonia. Sunday night, everything bottomed out and I’ve been stuck cycling between Apathy, Numbness, and bouts of Dissociation (also coping mechanisms) for a solid 48 hours, as of last night. When it gets like this, I have zero motivation to…

  • Thank you, Brain!

    Thank you, Brain!

    Last night, I stayed up far too late playing Valheim and had difficulties falling asleep, thinking about what to write for my blog this morning. Then, for reasons beyond my comprehension, I fell asleep thinking that I didn’t need to worry about it (though I DO have a fantastic topic) because it would be Monday…

  • The Downward Spiral

    The Downward Spiral

    Yesterday, as The Boyfriend recovered from… stuff… I messaged (he was upstairs) and asked if anything was the matter, pointing out that he seemed distant. He didn’t answer, so I went outside to lay sideways in my hammock and rock myself while I spiraled into the Void of Self-Loathing and Despair. I cried silently, just…

  • Me Too

    Me Too

    DISCLAIMER: Please be advised that I am not going to “soften” words and use things like “grape” or “SA.” This post includes talks of psychological manipulation/coercion, rape, sexual trauma, etc. I don’t have any designs to “bring back” the movement that hit with #metoo nor do I have the knowledge about whether it’s even still…

  • Connection

    Connection

    This morning after Walkies, I got in the shower. The Boyfriend had expressed joining me. At one point, he came in to the bathroom like he was about to do so, then left. As time went on and I did my thing, he didn’t come back. When I was finishing up, I called out and…

  • I Miss My Old Sleep

    I Miss My Old Sleep

    Four score and seven years ago… or some time in 2021… I slept well. Granted, I slept a lot, it was very difficult to wake me, and I was a grumpy bish upon waking, buuuuut… omg did I sleep hard and have better energy. Then, I started taking Gabapentin (for nerve issues). I believe I…

  • “Should”

    “Should”

    So Sayeth the Google AI Mode (tried a new version): The word “should” is not inherently “bad” in the sense of being a swear word, but it is often viewed as harmful or counterproductive in psychology, communication, and personal development. The word can create a cycle of shame, guilt, and unrealistic expectations for oneself and others. …