40.5 – For Last Week’s MM:
The honest conversation you’re avoiding is likely the one your relationship needs the most.
Avoiding conflict doesn’t protect a relationship. It lets one person suffer in silence while the other suffers by wrongly thinking everything is fine.
What honest conversation are you avoiding? What’s it costing your relationship?
Have the honest conversation you’ve been avoiding this week. Reply and tell me what happened.
Well, I can say that the one suffering in silence has – generally – been me, but not because I’ve been avoiding honest conversation. Nay nay… that would be The Boyfriend. This addiction has caused him to lie so many times and so hard that it still blows my mind. I mean… I consider myself a fairly easy-going person and trustworthy, but… addiction sucks and makes your brain bypass the rational, decision-making portion of your brain (Prefrontal Cortex). I understand the why behind it, but that doesn’t make being on the receiving end of the lying any easier or less painful. Honesty can be painful, sure, but it’s a far better option (IMHO) than being lied to about literally anything.
I suppose that there’s a chance that he has also been avoiding honest conversations, not just because it’s easier to lie than face telling the truth and suffering the consequences, but because he is wholly an Avoidant type. I believe he’s been this way the majority of his life, but the addiction has just made it that much harder.
And, while it’s been a rough time (almost 2 years now), it HAS gotten better recently. I just hope it stays that way and continues on an upward trend. That huge blow-out we had was pretty brutal, but – sadly – necessary. I knew something like that would happen eventually, but damn… going through it was major whale suckage. I’m still recovering from the damage to my nervous system.
14.0 – You’ll Never Feel Ready
One thing for you to think about
Readiness is not a feeling. It’s a decision.
The voice in your head that says you’re not ready is not protecting you. It’s just stopping you from finding out what you’re actually capable of.
Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.
Two things for you to ask yourself
What have you been telling yourself you’re not ready for? What if you did it anyway?
Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.
One thing for you to try this week
Do the thing you’re not ready for. Let me know what happens.
Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs.
As for how I’m doing… I guess things have been pretty mediocre, considering. I’m still waiting for The Boyfriend to complete the Disclosure, which sucks in a way, but… he’s working 5 – 12 hour shifts this week and I completely understand if he takes a day off afterwards, instead of working on that. And yeah, sure, we have the time (waiting for the men’s coach to return from vacation), but… I’ve been waiting for months (i.e. I get tired of waiting, sometimes). I really want to get it done and over with and start the Program over from the beginning. I’m hopeful that when we do that, he will dedicate his time and effort to it with alacrity… but alas, we shall have to wait and see…
Who IS EnchiPants?! 