61.5 – For Last Week’s MM:
Your body is a lagging indicator of the food you eat.
Your knowledge is a lagging indicator of the information you consume.
Your happiness is a lagging indicator of the people you care about.“The information you consume is the soil from which your future thoughts grow.” – James Clear
What choices are shaping your future self?
Unfollow one source of information that’s not worth your attention. Stop eating one food that’s not worth your health. Stop talking to one person who is not worth your happiness.
I have been doing better about the food I eat, because my doctor wanted me to start logging how much protein I consume every day. 88kg weight means 88g of protein is the standard (holy crap that’s tew much). She gave me a baseline of 70g per day to try to meet. Thankfully, my Samsung Health app allows me to log those foods (using barcodes even!) and that’s made it easier. I’m getting CLOSE to the goal, but not meeting it.
Can’t say I’ve been consuming much educational material lately, but there are times that I go on an ADHD Research Rampage and learn a lot about something (probably relating to my own health lol). Oh, and I learned a lot about some space stuff because The Boyfriend is a Nerd like that (seriously, though, it’s really hot when he talks about space).
Nah… my [severe lack of and inability to feel] happiness is a direct result of a mental/emotional trauma and the resulting Anhedonia. I don’t talk to many people that aren’t worth my happiness, because I don’t have that to begin with… plus, I don’t have the motivation or energy to talk to those types, so… crisis averted?! 😛
62.0 – The Smarter You Are
Two things for you to think about
The smarter you are, the better the excuses. Sometimes it’s more useful to turn your brain off.
You can always be right or you can learn and become successful.
But you can’t do both.
Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.
Two things for you to ask yourself
Where in your life are you choosing being right over being successful? What’s this costing you?
Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.
One thing for you to try this week
Pick one thing you’ve been making excuses about. Go do it. Let me know what happens.
Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs.
TRIGGER WARNING: Talks of suicide
As for how I’m doing… honestly?! It’s been a rough feckin week. I didn’t mention much last week because of the completely busy Monday I had, but… last Sunday was pretty bad during check-in. The Boyfriend dropped a semi-nuke when he got home from work (a former D&D acquaintance had unalived himself) and that morphed into me talking about MY suicidal ideation, asking if he was worried I would ever do that (he was not… still unsure if I should be concerned/offended by that), me confessing that he wouldn’t even know if I DID do that because I would just disappear and he would find out whenever that I had (this upset him and I felt bad – but like… I don’t want to inflict that pain on him, so disappearing is a service to him – in my mind)… suffice it to say, there was a lot of heavy shite before we even did the normal check-in.
I acquired an app called “Juno” for chronically ill individuals. It’s friggin AMAZING and I’ve only had it a week. It does cost money (as it should!), but I feel like it is well worth it. The most significant benefit I have gotten so far is that I can SEE how many spoons I have for the day and the cost of any and all tasks I list and check off… it gives me a battery, too. I mean, I already instinctively knew I was overloading myself every day, but seeing it like that in a list really drives it home.
There was another rough check-in Thursday evening, which involved me being too fervent about how much I hate and think a show The Boyfriend likes is stupid… with zero offense intended toward him, but… he took it as a personal attack against himself as a person and his tastes in things… and then he turned it completely around and intentionally hurt me back (7/10 trigger and flashback to The Plague‘s abuse – very not good). e semi-worked through that, but the emotional carry-over into Friday morning caused a pretty big fight (i.e. he didn’t want to deal with it at all and I felt completely neglected and uncared for). I spent the rest of the morning completely ignoring him, until we went to couple’s therapy and got to have a mediator to work through THAT whole ordeal.
Anyway… I have gone WAY over my allotted time, so I’m gonna end it there. 😛
