EnchiPants: a blog about the traumatic life of a nerdy girl who grew into a broken woman
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Tomorrow…
These last few days have been a conglomerate of sinking mood, worsening pain, one half-day headache, and ruminations about life in general. Tuesday I had a really rough EMDR session, where we dug deep into my abandonment issues. I learned a lot, but it left me feeling completely drained. I took a nap immediately afterwards.…
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It’s ironic and sad that I can remember when I used to have an innocent and fantastical perspective about life, despite how very long ago that was for me. It has systematically been eroded over the course of my 43 years. The very first “scary” incident I remember happening was when my brother fell over…
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I Love Colorado
Let me just say this… I knew Arkansas sucked, but I didn’t realize how badly they sucked until I moved here to Colorado. First of all, I’m riding the Struggle Bus again when it comes to getting something written daily for my blog. It’s fallen by the wayside and I can’t seem to grab ahold…
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Monday Mark – 24.5 & 25.0
23.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Actions are your values made real. You can talk and talk, but at the end of the day, your actions never lie. Is there something you tell yourself you value but your actions don’t follow?Is there something you tell others you value but your actions don’t follow? Pick one thing…
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ADHD Research – Phase 5
Here we are, with my ADHD brain having been inspired to dive into the depths of Research once again. I touched up on my last phase – because damn, I forgot what I wrote about in less than 3 months. Also… it’s really friggin long! The inspiration? Learning about the Limbic System in the Recovery…
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Monday Mark – 23.5 & 24.0
23.5 – For Last Week’s MM: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers The best way to become the person you want to be is to put yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to become them. Are you trying…
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The Back Deck Incident
In the interest of not having much motivation to blog/journal, let alone something to talk about… I’ve titled this as what my EMDR therapist and myself are calling the memory of when my brain “broke” and Anhedonia took over. It seemed fitting enough, since we started working on it yesterday. It was rough, but necessary,…
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Monday Mark – 22.5 & 23.0
22.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Do you have trouble saying “no”? Why do you think you do? Say “no” to one thing you’d normally say “yes” to, then regret later. If you’re not sure how, download my free Boundaries, Solved Guide. This is a work in progress for me. I used to be a people pleaser, but I…
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For What It’s Worth
Yesterday started off really well for me, talking on the phone with my mom about all sorts of things. I wanted to share a couple of them with The Boyfriend, when he finally came downstairs. He prepared a bowl of cereal and I excitedly asked if we could talk. While standing at the bottom of…
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Screen Time Before Bed
So, The Boyfriend seems to believe that screen time during bed time right before sleeping… is just some wrong opinion I have. Yesterday, we did a worksheet for the Recovery Program and it involved identifying areas of neuroplasticity that we could work to improve. There were 3 out of 6 types of neuroplasticity listed and…
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I Love You
A Quote from Facebook: If you can say “I love you” while you are crushing her spirit, you are not loving her, you are harming her and calling it devotion. Love is not a word you use after the damage; it is the care you show before you cause it. If she feels afraid, ashamed,…
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Monday Mark – 21.5 & 22.0
21.5 – For Last Week’s MM: “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice.” – T.S. Eliot “Almost everything will start working again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.” – Anne Lamott What language of your life in 2025 will you leave behind? What…
The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step – Lao Tzu
From the: Tao te Ching
Who IS EnchiPants?! 