EnchiPants: a blog about the traumatic life of a nerdy girl who grew into a broken woman
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Monday Mark 31.5 & 32.0
31.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Everyone has something to teach you, even if neither of you realizes it. The catch is: it’s not their job to show you, it’s your job to figure out what you can learn. “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” – Simone Weil Who in your life might…
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One Week Later…
It’s been a week since I received the last of the intensive part of Ketamine therapy (6 sessions in 2 weeks). Unfortunately, if I don’t hear back directly from the clinic, I’ll be waiting twice as long for the start of my “Maintenance” phase (6 weeks instead of 3). It is what it is, of…
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Monday Mark – 30.5 & 31.0
30.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Your distractions aren’t random. What you reach for when things get uncomfortable tells you what you’re trying not to feel. Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but will only strengthen the feeling you’re trying to escape. What do you reach for when you feel uncomfortable? What are you trying…
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Monday Mark – 29.5 & 30.0
29.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Goals are the actions you think about but don’t do.Habits are the actions you do but don’t think about. Better goals require a lot of effort and change little.Better habits will change everything. What do you already do that moves you towards your goals? What moves you further from them?…
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Ketamine Therapy 2 & 3
I’ve been pretty tired and somewhat busy, but I’m back to talk about my last 2 Ketamine therapy sessions, to the best of my ability. As I said in the last post, it is really difficult to accurately describe how they went. For Thursday’s session, I changed the music to Tibetan singing bowls, figuring that…
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Ketamine Therapy (1)
Whew. I have to say, first off, that the Ketamine therapy was intense AF. Mind you, I haven’t tried many “recreational” drugs to compare: pot when I was young for a few years (it makes me sick), mushrooms twice (without much effect), and Ketamine was experienced for the first and only time during a surgery…
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Monday Mark – 28.5 & 29.0
28.5 – For Last Week’s MM: The cost of inaction is often much higher than the cost of the wrong action. When you can’t decide, ask yourself: Which option minimizes future regrets? What part of your life is on autopilot because you’re afraid of choosing wrong? What are you actively avoiding by not deciding? Make a…
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When Doves Cry
A “Rumination” on Empathy (Sorry, it’s a long one…) Cognitive vs. Emotional Cognitive Empathy, or “perspective-taking,” is the intellectual ability to identify and understand another person’s emotions, thoughts, and perspective without necessarily feeling them. It is often described as “thinking with” someone, acting as a rational, logical understanding of their situation. This skill is crucial for…
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Monday Mark – 27.5 & 28.0
27.5 – For Last Week’s MM: Accept this: You don’t have to prove anything to anybody, ever. Including yourself. The moment you stop asking for permission is when you realize it was never required. What have you been trying to prove lately? Whose permission do you seek? Pick one small decision you’ve been waiting for permission…
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Monday Mark – 26.5 & 27.0
26.5 – For Last Week’s MM: A great spouse makes everything else in your life easier.A bad spouse makes everything else in your life harder. Your romantic relationship is your highest leverage choice in life. Every healthy relationship starts with two people who have healthy relationships with themselves. Any toxic relationship is the result of at…
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Monday Mark – 25.5 & 26.0
25.5 – For Last Week’s MM: You can have anything you want in life. You just can’t have everything you want. The game of life is trade-offs. Being willing to disappoint people is the only way to be truly free. Who are you afraid of disappointing if you really go for what you want? Choose one trade-off you want, and…
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Tomorrow…
These last few days have been a conglomerate of sinking mood, worsening pain, one half-day headache, and ruminations about life in general. Tuesday I had a really rough EMDR session, where we dug deep into my abandonment issues. I learned a lot, but it left me feeling completely drained. I took a nap immediately afterwards.…
The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step – Lao Tzu
From the: Tao te Ching
Who IS EnchiPants?! 